diaries of an insomniac -1-

-1-
So basically, the problem with the town I live in is that it never sleeps, never rests or shuts its eye even for a moment. But nonetheless I have no way of discovering whether it is or not the reason for my own lack of sleep, for just a moment's rest. It's not just the mechanical and frantic and ongoing work of the town I live in that makes it continuous for the sake of the system's continuum. There is always someone who is in a group of people deciding to catch everyone else's attentionm who catches everyone else's attention fotr some other original reason whih wasn't the original thought, but it did the trick. And I cannot say I hate this towntrait, but I just cannot stand it just as I cannot stand anything when I am in the state of a ghost... In any case, there is always someone who wants to make unwanted noise or flash unwanted light and of course there's always someone minding their own business so to speak but never keeping it exactly private. Yes. You would think that My Town is full of exhibitionists and it's true, not that there is anything wrong with it; it makes the Town original, full of colours as long as people are not hurting anyone and they never do and the fact that many people are doing things out in the open shuts the traditional jerks up as they cannot go against the bigger wave than they are. And the wave is big, it's just that it was hiding in the shadows for too long not realising that this huge shadow is way bigger that the other one.
The noise, however doesn't only come from the outside. It also grows inside me, builds up and eventually it clogs all the other noise from the outside. I have come to realise that dogs do hear my internal chaos and they shriek and they run... Nice thing. The owners think I'm some kind of monster and when the usuals see me onthe street they just go the other way.
And this thing has been going on and on for ages and I have no idea where to put myself anymore. I'd have ideas for big projects(!) with big ideas(!); since I have no means of resting I have a lot of time to think and it could give real big fruits... It's just that a man deprived of sleep is a man who would do things in a melted plastic way or not want to do them at all..... or is it melted vinyl that best describes the state I'm in?
Doctors say this whole situation I'm in is because of the lack of sleep I'vebeen having. Two of them say it just might be something else... I don't deny it's coming from me, say my fault or my body's fault... but maybe it's there for a reason to serve a very important purpose, that is, so THAT I could sleep or go on a mission or go on my mission.

Selene; appartment above me. She is probably having one of her episodes again. Her vision of things is not a typical one. How? Well, let's see: she claims that a milky way is in her appartment inviting her enter a path full of adventures seen only oonce you step forward anda ccept it. I'd like to think that if I would have done something like that and accept any vision that comes into my mind these days I would have had an ocean full of adventures to ponder on afterwards and when I think of these things I actually laugh out loud.
Selene is a ballet teacher. She says no one sees the milky way because they don't want to or do not believe in it hard enough. But then again no one visits her that often to be able to see it when she does sees it. She once came down and knocked on my door. When I opened she held freshly cooked cookies on a plate saying she hadn't found any better excuse to socialise and if I came up with any I should feel free to communicate it to her. That was the first time I have noticed her for real and since then we have been communicating through the water pipes of our structure; brick structure.
Selene is actually a beauty. Not my beauty, not for me, but she is. Purple long hair, slim and toned figure, not very tall, a very charming face. A very charming smile. A very charming expression. Charming looks. Charming looks and a charming personality and with those purple hair she almost seemed to have come out of some fable. All her friends , the ones I know of, don't see her for whom she really is and either mae fun of her behind her back (or not), or take advantage of her in a way or another. I really didn't like this but what with my insomnia I rarely did anything to solve this. Whenever she'd have someone over for tea or whatnot I'd perceive a scratching noise on my water pipes coming fro the direction of her appartment. In fact if it wasn't for my only true love for this one person I know (but haven't really met) I'd be quite infatuated with her even though she isn't the kind of girl I'd be infatuated with. And my being fond of another girl is another story altogether.

My appartment has no milky way but it has a meadow. Yes, a huge fraction of green and yellow with a big fraction of the blue blue sky above it. It is something beautiful really but I myself have never stepped foot on it. I figure It is wonderful the way it is and no need of me around it...